I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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