so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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