So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
tell me about the eggs
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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