my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
