I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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