we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
