mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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