I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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