So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
