i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
