next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i love accidental penises.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
