i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
