i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize