Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things šš
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He was all āplease donāt bail because Iām missing work for thisā last night
Honey no, I need dick. Iām not going to bail
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