Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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