this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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