Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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