ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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