thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
