he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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