is your mom at the bar?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
