If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
