On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Boobs are out for the taking
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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