He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
