I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm like, not good at living.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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