someone get that fucking seahorse.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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