how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
