BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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