Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
