After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
