Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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