let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
