Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
