paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
