You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
