he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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