So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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