why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
