i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
