You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
