...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
How external is "for external use only"?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
