oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
