Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
