just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
