we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
