I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
