A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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