Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
