I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
