Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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