Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
