your parents love me but you hate me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
