you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So much Jack, so little girl.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
