i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize