Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
