don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
