i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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