We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
