Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm getting married
To pizza
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
