I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Michael Bay diarrhea
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
