Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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