You work out of a Hotel?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
